Hambonering
by RegularShowLuvr
Summary: This is a story of mordecai and rigby just having a another day in there new jobs, but things get from wierd to totally messed up fast.ONESHOT. Must be over 18. RATED MA


**Authors note: Hello fellow fan fiction readers, this is my first fan fic and it might not be that good but ive left plenty of brutaly honest reviews and im expecting the same**

**from you guys. Please leave a review and dont be afraid of hurting my feelings.**

**Also i would like to thanks JessieLover for inspiring and motivating me to write a story, without her, this story would have never been done.**

**I dont own regular show or any characters, they are owned by J G Quintel and cartoon network**

It was just a normal day at the zoo, ever since mordecai and rigby got fired from the park. Things have gotten harder for them, in more ways than one.

Mordecai- our newly acquired occupational placement within the native and foreign animal habitat and recreational arena has provided me with an unprecident sensation of pleasure

Rigby- yeah, i sure like working in the zoo too

Mordecai- riggason, i do beleive a fellow work companion has felt the need to verbally communicate with us

Rigby- who?

Mordecai- its perty lady ruby

Ruby- hay faggatinies, jason just told me to tell you guys, that you guys are cleaning up the turtle crap, so i guess you guys are...(puts sunglasses on)... in the shit now  
YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Mordecai- what? Me no like pick up doo doo

Rigby- starts crying

30 MINUTES PASS

Mordecai- rigby, is doo doo making eyes leak

Rigby- nah dude, its just what ruby said made me really sad, i cant stop crying, she hurt my feelings.

Mordecai- dont sad face rigby

Rigby- i cant help it, im just sad all the time all the time im always crying my life is just so hard

Mordecai- eye see over there rigby, it skips

Rigby- what?

Skips- hey guys

Mordecai and rigby- hey skips

Skips- just came by to see how you guys were going, things have been very quiet at the park since you guys were tht was one mess up thing you guys did with those chicken wings...  
...ALL SILENT, looking at each other awkwardly.

Skips- well tnat horrible situation wont ever happen again, sinse i used my infinate knowledge to stop it, beacuse im skips (big smile on his face)

Skips leaves

Rigby- (starts crying again) im miss skips, why did he just have to leave like that

Mordecai- me know how to mak sad rigby go by by, let go on break

Rigby-what? You mean you dont want to be my friend anymore (cries even more)

Mordecai-no, i just meant we should take a break from work

Rigby- oh, ok

20 MINUTES PASS

R- dude why are we at the shops anyway

M- i mjst procure myself new items of undergarment

R- what?

M- i need more underwear -_-

R- umm i dont think you need me around for that

M-why my procyon lotor companion?are you minimaly secure in your hetrosexuality?

R- whatever dood, lets just get this ovr with.

10 MINUTES LATER

M- riggerson, my transactions in obtaining new forms of undergarements have beem yourself for a moment, isnt it my understanding that you are also in need of new undergarments.

R-what! No dood!

M- riggerson! Just try some on and i'll purchase them

R- FINE!

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

M- come on rigby

R-ok dood, you better not laugh or i'll cry

RIGBY EMERGES

M- wow dood, you look just...wow

R- oh god, i look ridiculius, dont i

M- no dude no, they look really good on you (stares at rigbys crotch)

R- rigby starts blushing

M- mordecai feels an intense urge within him to take rigby

R- rigby can sence the tension, and starts posing for mordecai

M- mirdecai cannot take anymore, whipps out his fully errect dick

R- rigby sees mordecais throbbin one eyed monster

At this point they both understand what must be done

Rigby looks mordecai in his eyes and tney both yell

WAND FIGHT!

rigby reveals his pulsating beheamoth and tney full on slp each others dicks with one another, without mercy

After a few minutes kf brutal attacks on each others members

Mordecai unleashes a wave of his man seed all ovr rigbys face, the stream thick and white bursts out of him for a few momments, and mordecai colapses to his knees due to pleasure

Rigby freshly covered in mkrdecais man seed tajes advantage of mordecais weakend state grabbs and thrust mordecais beak around his dick and immediately explodes, like an opening champain bottle in to mordecais mouth

After both were covered in each otherslove goo, they realsie that thy were dtill in the underwear department , and a small crowd had surrounded them. The disgust tht was on eveyones face was as clear as the sun to mordecai and rigby

Mordecai realising tnat ne was in a world of crap, he used his articulate vocabulary and used the only words that could get them out of the horrible situation

M- duh, you likey

Evryones face went from digust to enraged, a group of totally buff men, with hate in there eyes walked up to the sperm covered mordecai and rigby and said 'me likey'

Immediately evryone de-clothed, men, wome, young, old and a massive orgy broke out. Mordeaci and rigby were so turned on by allthe fear and nudity, they were both instatly hard again, mkrdecai flipped rigby around and cried 'GET READY FOR THE ANTI-POOPER' and thrusted his steal hard trouser snake into rigbys asshole.

Rigby screamed in pai, as his asshole was being torn open, mordeaci just kept pounding rigbys asshole and in his testosterome filled state, wasnt aware of all the blood, shit and sperm pouring down there then blew another massive load into rigbys ass, and mid orgasm, pulled his dick out and let his sperm shoot all over his own face.

Both of them becoming aware of there own surroundings, realised that the orgy had grown to hundreds of people and getting violent, with some dead bodies on the floor, fucked to death. And to mordecais horror, he sw margarets dead body with the word 'whore' carved into her with shit and sperm oozing out of every opening and wound on her body, whike being fucked by some little kid

Mordecai saw this and puked, the moment the vomit hit the ground, a small person instantly ran to it, started rolling around in it and began to eat it. To both mordecai and rigbys surprise, it was eileen. She then looked up to both of them, and in a seductive voice she said ' i want everything of both of you guys in me'she then positioned herself on her knees and hands, rigby leaped ag the opportunity and forcefilly penetrated eillens pussy sith his once again throbbing dick. While mordecai went over to eileens face, and she began sucking his dick.

For a few moments mordecais pleasure was peaked, eileens tounge wrapping around and licking the head of his dick was unparrelel, he then took a gentle gold of her head and started to press it more onto his dick, so as to get his dick further into her hem flashes of margarets dead both entered mordecais mind, and he began to grab onto eileens head a little harder, then moreso. Mordecai deafened by eileens screams of pain by the memory of margarets limp, dead body, he then crushed eileens skull into several overlapping and shifting broken pieces in a sack of her head skin. Her skull shards cut large lacerations in her head skin with blood and brain matter pouring out. Then out the back of her head, mordecais penis poked out of one of the lacerations and mordecai shot his final load of man seed.

Rigby finally noticing that he was simply fucking eileens limp dead body, look at it and said ' i knew that bitch couldnt take what i got' he then pulled his dick out of her and masterbated until his thick health love paste blew out of the tip of his dick and onto eileens shattered skull

The duo were finally done, the orgy hadbegun to disband, leaving only dozens of dead stinking broken bodies in the underwear department.

Mordecaiand rigby were walkimg back to the zoo, in complete silence. Tney had just performed one of tne most decident act of all time.

Mordecai then spoke

M- dude that was pretty messed up, what we just did

R-what!? You cant say that you didnt like it!

M- its because i liked it that im freaked out

R-starts to cry, what are you saying

M- i think im gonna leave for a while

R- what! You cant do this to me, said in an enraged voice

M- fare the well riggerson, i hope eventualy you realise the phycological repucutions our actiins today will have on your future

R- thats not good enough mordebitch

Rigbynthen hijacks a pasing car and drives to the park, with pure rage in his hear, he drives straight into skios place. Rigby jumps out of the car to see that skips head had been crushed by the tire

R- guess hes not so immortal without a head, hahaha. Now wheres that spoon...ah ha. The death spoon.

Rigby hen went on a mass killing spree , he would point the glowing spoon at someone. And they just die by some completly random act. A big rock would justbfall from the sky and crush someone, or a wild lion would just appear. Or toast shooting out of th toaster so fast, it blows a hole through someones head.

Rigby did this for a few hours, then he dicided to go after mordecai, he pointed the spoon at him

Mordecai yelled ' the irrationality of the paranormal and ridiculious corcumstances in which so many humaoids havr untimely meet their unfortunate end is significant . I simply request that younspare me a similar fate from the earpting utensile

R- speak english you fuck!

A 2000 page bookfalls from the sky atvhigh speeds then crushes mordecais head with just brain and skull chunks flying everywhere.

The momment mordecai died rigby regretted evrything that happened that day, he wqs driven crazy and inna crazy fit, he fucked a mail box, the momment he was done the letters in the maile box grew arms and legs and came to life.

Letters- oh holy god, what is you wish

R- umm, in want everything to go back to normal

L- it will be done

The magic letters then pulled magic love toe nails from within them and tossed them at rigby , he was then sent back in time when evrything was normal.

R- wait, im still working at the zoo

L- yeah, not even time travelcan fix what you guys did with those chicken wings, that was really messed up 0_0.

THE END

**Please dont forget to review, I would really appreciate any feedback, any at all.**


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